We yelled, we argued, we cried last night.

But we went to sleep together.

A lot of truth came out last night and today.

Starting from scratch together, let’s see where this goes. ♡

会った時から、今までありがとう。色々あったね。喧嘩した日々、中々信用できなかった時期、一緒に暮らして幸せに過ごした毎日。こんなりさを好きになって、愛してくれてありがとう。君のおかげで今のりさがあるんだ。君が教えてくれた「愛」、忘れることなんてないだろう。君に出逢って、どれだけ成長したか分かるよね？君はいつもちゃんとりさのことを見てきて、ちゃんと分かってくれた。心細かった時にはちゃんと支えになってくれた。私たちの歌、りさが馬鹿みたいによく言ったフレーズ、普通だったら小さなことだけどちゃんと見て色々憶えてくれた。そこが1番君の大好きなところだった、だってりさもそういうのを憶える派だから。これまでこんなに頑張って、人を愛したことなんてないだろう。君だけだよ、それだけ君はりさにとって大切な存在だった。本当は悔しい、でもずるい君に何言ったって、何したってもう限界なのが分かった。

これから頑張ってね。この最後の言葉は届かないかもしれない、いや、届かないだろう。でもね、最後にもう一回だけ言うね。

愛してたよ、心の底から。

But every time I stop, fate always brings me back to you….

But every time I’m with you, fate always takes you away from me….

I don’t know what to do. But maybe this distance is what I need right now.

I just miss you…you know?

It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss…..

The first night we hung out is still one of my favorite memories.

I’ll never forget that night. We just talked outside of your car on a street nearby the dorms since I used to dorm. I sat on your car hood and you stood, facing me, while we talked. You kept making eye contact, showing you were interested in my stories. Late night story talking with just the two of us to get to know each other, it was something different from the usual pattern. You were something different, different from the others.

This all sounds so cliché, but that night just randomly approached my mind.

I want another night like this with you.

You can tell me you care about me the most out of all the girlfriends you’ve had.

You can tell me you’re attached to me,

but the most reassuring thing I want to hear right now is that

You love me.

Because attachment is just attachment,

people can be attached without having much feelings.

And that’s what I’m afraid of, that there isn’t much feelings to this for you.

Telling me to quit smoking weed is like telling you to quit smoking cigarettes. We both want to for each other, but just can’t do it. Actually I did try though. I took a two week break that ended because I found out you started smoking weed and picking up.. But I’m not upset about that anymore. I’m upset about our situation. Cause it kills me so much.

I just love you. And so do you. But we can’t be together because our priorities don’t go along well together. And just because of that, it isn’t fair. I don’t want to see what happens from now on. I’m not going to be able to stand seeing what goes on.

But as of now, you make me so happy and content. After all that’s happened in the past year and a couple months with my family, you were there by my side as an extra support aside from my best friends.

♡